Who the hell am I, I screamed?
What the hell am I doing here?
What a discrase just look at yourself!
Your pathetic, you’re such a fucken loser!
NO WONDER NO ONE LOVES YOU!
Seriously if this is my life? I want out!
I didn’t know who I was. I hated myself. I just didn’t understand what my purpose in life was, why was I here? I am not talking about my desires or dreams I am talking about who I was deep down inside. I felt like I was living on the outside of my body looking in. NO connection, NO feeling, NO love!
I had released everything that was me, but who was that!
I didn’t know who the reflection was when I looked in a mirror. I didn’t understand what all the voices wanted me to do or not to do. Life was so confusing, I was living a lie! Surely this was someone else life not mine. Honestly who was really controlling my life, it surly wasn’t me, or who I thought to be me. I was living inside someone else’s body. I was in someones else dream looking down. Sure I was doing things day to day to survive, seemingly to just get through the day! What was it all for? OMG I was just so confused! Everyday I would tie myself up in TOTAL confusion only to wake up the next day and do it all again!
These and so many other questions we asked ourselves constantly. See why we all get so confused! We live our lives in our heads and not in our hearts!
The most difficult phase in my life was not when no one understood me it was when I didn’t understand myself!
How on point is that?
Who of you looks at the reflection in the mirror and ask themselves whats it all about? what is life about? How did I become who I am right now?
When I started taking off the masks I had been hiding behind for so long, something deep inside started to stir and began igniting. I yearning, a fire and then a desire. A desire that was so electrifying that I knew I was “BORN 4 MORE!”
This was not it, this was not how I was meant to be, how i was meant to live my life. My past was not going to define who I wanted to be! It was time to begin living into the now, not the past and to create my future!
But what did that look like, shit I have not clue. Were was that fucken manual, the one that would tell me what to do. The step by step, page by page system that would lead me to everything I wanted! Now I wasn’t listening to those confusing voices who did I turn to? Who was going to help me?
Great questions aye, you know what I am talking about right!
Where was that manual! Why was it not easy?
Funny thing is when I look back now it kinda was. It kinda was easy of sorts! We live our lives making life hard. Thinking if my vision is that big it must be hard. If I wanted to be that person and live that life, or even just get over living in survival, it must be hard right?
That is were we are all so wrong!
It can be so easy!
It can be done with flow!
It can be done with just letting go!
Don’t get me wrong it happens with a lot of blood, sweat and tears! The one thing I have learnt is whats on the other side is worth all of that. It is worth that and OMG so much more.
My greatest gift in life was opening up peeling away the layers and understanding me! Taking the time to love me! Taking the time to gently and lovingly remove those masks, to understand who I really was. To connect to what was inside of me and do what I needed to do to be living into my true purpose and what I believe deep in side I was born to do and even more so who I was born to be.
No manual needed, WHO KNEW!
What it took was to CONNECTION, COMMITMENT & CLEANSE!
To RESET, RELOAD an RELAUNCH the real version of ME!
Now I add to my MANUAL DAILY! I create my life everyday how I want it to look like and how I want it to unfold!
Your life is YOURS to CREATE how you DESIRE!
Go create, best of all fall in LOVE with YOU!!
Remember:
“MASTER YOUR MIND, CONQUER YOUR WORLD”
kisses
Leisa