DO you ever feel like you are going through your darkest times and second guessing whether your should talk about them? Are you scared that revealing your darkest moments, your insecurities and self-doubts will stop you from reaching your goals? Like telling people you are struggling with some deep trauma will affect the way they see you, will make them judge you?
Well guess what? It won’t! You CAN reveal your darkest times, your sh*tty past, your deepest secrets to those around you. And the best part is that amazing things will happen as a result! Here’s my story!
We’ve all been through darkest times
People think things are easy for me, and I have it all worked out!
I get a lot of things said, like, “Look
at you, life is so easy for you.”
“You have everything worked out”
“I want your life”
“You are doing incredibly well and always so happy”
“Your body is bloody amazing for a 47-year-old! You’re so lucky.”
Well yes, but it has not always been that way – actually, very far from it.
IT HAS BEEN A TOUGH EMOTIONAL RIDE TO GET WHERE I AM CURRENTLY!
It has been a lot of very early mornings and long late nights. It has been a lot of working on myself. The difference between the old me and the one who stands before you today is: “I DID AND I CONTINUE TO DO THE WORK”!
I did what was needed. I never quit, no matter how hard it got and let’s be honest, it was treacherous and crippling at times.
😝I beautifully failed a lot within my business!
😝I launched amazing programs and got one person in it!
😝And at times I had zero clients!
When things got really bad- enter darkest times!
AND last December we nearly lost EVERYTHING! The car, the house, everything! We spent our savings on an influx of bad luck, bills that we didn’t see coming, our magical savings completely dried up! Our credit cards were maxed out and we had bills pilling up. We were basically in the deepest shit imaginable and we were too proud to tell anyone or ask for help! I felt stuck – it was some of the darkest times of my life!
We got to a point, just after Xmas, where we even struggled to find money to put petrol in the car and ate whatever was on special. Thank god for the cupboard full of the Nutritional Shakes – they kept us going!
Last December was the darkest time in our marriage. Not with each other, as it made us stronger, but with the hurdles we had to overcome. We thought we might have to sell the house. We had nothing coming in except some money from our NWM business, and that was being sabotaged by our up line. What we had in the security of residual income that we had worked so hard to build, dried almost completely up while we waited for it to be fixed by the company we had aligned with. One of my coaching clients took a break for Xmas, three had already paid the six months in advance, one had a baby so she stopped, another two had finished their contracts. One client was still paying monthly, yet funny thing, her payments kept declining! Our tenants had moved out and we came home to it needing a lot of repair work done and fighting the real estate for the bond and outstanding with money owed.
The bills pilled up all while the money stopped coming in.
We were living on the absolute bare essentials!
Xmas time came and we put a smile on our happy face, but inside we were dying.
When things got better
I share this personal experience as people don’t always tell you the truth of what is going on now or behind closed doors. This stuff is personal, but people need to know times are not always what they seem and these are the times that absolutely define you! I knew how Neil and I decided to move through this time would shape us for the future. I had to find what was going on inside of me, as I knew this was a reflection to my energetic emotional field and nothing else. I could not blame anyone else, or any outside influences – I HAD CREATED THIS!
I nearly got a 9-5pm job!
I nearly quit my coaching business
I nearly quit it all!
I nearly surrendered to my ego and the voices telling me I was a failure!
I had stopped showing up online – how could I when it would have been a lie showing up like everything was okay?!
So I made a decision, I drew that line in the sand and together Neil and I leapt over!
I choose to go all in! I went to work on finding the misalignment behind why these current events were unfolding and how I was creating it. With all my knowledge, training, and all my tools, I went to work. What I found blew my mind..
👩🍳Throw in a few subconscious blocks of self-worth and worthiness of money
👩🍳Add some triggers of self-sabotage
👩🍳and a BIG dollop off underlining attitude to coming back to Australia from living in Bali and feeling caged in and not supported like I was by Mother Bali!
Switching to the inside
Well, that is a recipe for the unfolding circumstances we were living. The subconscious block to success I found was the icing on the cake!
I spent most of January going deep. I shut down from the world, got out of the darkest thoughts haunting me and focused on me. These are the times people don’t see. By the end of January, I finally saw the light. I felt the strongest I had ever been and I came out fighting – fighting for our livelihoods, fighting for our dreams, and fighting for my new found self-worth and belief in myself!
February at my Mum’s, I did a live stream in my Sisterhood group where I shared my three-month story that had just unfolded. During this one, I showed I am with you now. I spoke my truth. Afterwards, I got three messages from women who hired me on the spot for coaching. My energy had shifted. I had moved out of the victim, scarcity, and shitty mindset I had spiraled into and into my new identity with the strength and passion of a warrior who knows who she is!
Because of my energy shift, my clients then shifted super fast. When you are in the energy of someone who is aligned with magic, it is powerful. People just seem to find me. I asked and I received. I got asked to do interviews, I launched my podcast, the women joined my Sacred Connection to Self Retreat. My whole life up-leveled.
Overcoming any hurdle with determination!
Now, I am not saying it has been roses ever since. I have had my moments, BUT when you do the work on yourself, the breakthroughs happen faster and faster each time. The awareness within yourself has a magical deep sense of knowing your truth. The divine thing is: you grow so much from the experience!
If I could say one thing to the 21-year-old woman I was: “Don’t be afraid to do the inner work and invest like fuck in yourself. Never worry about the how something will happen, focus on your WHY and take one step everyday to connect deeper and love YOURSELF! Because when the times get tough you will know what to do!
Love to you all,
PS: Join the sisterhood! Here’s the link to my FREE facebook group !