Are you allowing yourself to fully step up and be YOU or are you fitting into that little box of everyone else expectations?
How do you finally choose you and be yourself as a woman?
WOW! Where do I start here? So much wants to pour out, I will try to contain myself (not quite!)
I have lived most of my life in a space of conforming and society’s programming of who I should be, do and say. I have spent time doing what I think I should because everyone else is and wanting to fit in outweighed anything else.
Being yourself as a woman is hard
I was petrified to walk the path least traveled. I was always looking for recognition that I am doing the right thing, looking the right way, doing the latest trend, wearing the right clothes, being the best I could be for everyone else’s standards. Simply fitting in to be accepted and more so walk to the line that looks like it is the successful one and not listening to my gut that was crying out NO!
So just be yourself as a woman, right? Easier said than done. These are the things you think you should do
👉Go to University and get a degree
👉Wear that style as it is in fashion
👉Wear shoes (yes I hate shoes)
👉Go to church and pray
👉Go get a respectable job in a respectable profession just till you get married
👉Oh then, get married and have kids
👉Buy that house and the huge mortgage is important
👉Eat three solid meals a day
👉Live like your parents did and their parents, and their parents …
That’s what I grew up thinking when I was being myself as a woman.
But the truth is that no-one fits into a specific box. Back then I didn’t and I still don’t now.
I have red flags that go up when I hear:
“Don’t do that!”
“You should not do that”
“Do it this way everyone is”
“That is not how it is supposed to be done”
We are all unique humans
You see another things is, your brain tries to label EVERYTHING. It analyses EVERYTHING, judges and puts things into neat little boxes accordingly.
We were not made the same, no one person is the same so why do we all try to be like each other!? We need to understand that a lot of the time letting yourself go and doing what feels right in every moment with zero attachment to any outcome is EXACTLY what you should do! Your intuition is screaming just let it be and let’s just be present to what we need right now, lets just do us PLEASE!
Grow your self-confidence and go big!
One of the biggest things that still sits with me was an epiphany moment to bring in the unshakable awareness of how I was keeping myself so small. I was worrying about what people thought of me and being judged by others. It was after the first time I shared on social media about my sexual abuse and my self harm though drugs and alcohol.
OMFG my inbox lit up like an Xmas tree!
I got so many messages about why the hell are you sharing something so personal, why would you do that, it is wrong!
😳Why are you allowing people to know your personal things they should be kept private!
😳That was not smart doing that live stream, now people think you are a victim and weak!
😳You should not let people see you cry they need to think you are strong!
😳What was up with your hair it looked terrible you need to look better before you get onto a livestream!
😳What if the people that did that to you or partied with you see this!
OH AND MY FAV THAT IN THE PAST WOULD PUT ME STRAIGHT INTO THE FETAL POSITION!
🤯“You are a bit much babe you should dumb yourself down a bit, you will put so many people off you knowing that… oh and also black is the best to wear online it makes you look skinnier and heathy which you need right now”🤯
Well 🤬 sorry sister that is just not me. I did my years of hiding living in my shadows, playing small! It is actually one of the biggest thing my clients need help with!
I know WOW YES I triggered the hell out of people, still do and that is actually PERFECT👌 Why? It is making them look at what they need to within themselves and if they do they grow and they heal!
My point in sharing this is, when you start to shine and make a difference people get scared, it makes them stop and look at themselves. That can be scary and oh so confronting. Some, well most people, are not ready and that is okay. Send them love and understand it is never about you it is ALWAYS about them!
Now, it’s your turn!
Think about this every time you don’t do something you want to do because someone else thinks you shouldn’t you are giving away your power. If I had not shared that vulnerable part of me and everything else I do, to teach, to guide, I would not be helping people by making my biggest impact.
I went through what I did so I can help others heal. That is my biggest gift, the trauma, mental issues, self harm, self loath, addiction, sexual abuse. People know they are safe with me. I know how to hold them, I know how to guide them to a place of transformational alignment, true connection. To have deeper relationships, the love for ones self, the powerful leaders they can be. Guiding them to overcome the hidden blame, shame, and guilt that subconsciously is crippling them and holding them back!
Simply by being not afraid to walk my own path I have helped others walk theirs. With strength of a warrior and the heart of a champion. A fearless woman.
I want you to think about that line the next time you let someone else’s expectations rule your emotions or physically hold you back. Who and what are they stopping you from doing by trying to keep you small.
Be YOURSELF as a woman.
The day I freed myself was the day I didn’t give a fuck what anyone else thought about how I was living MY LIFE. I thanked them for their opinion (most the time lol) and said my goodbye.
So stay in your own zone and like me
“WALK THE PATH LEAST FOLLOWED WITH YOUR EYES FIXED FORWARD”
I would love to know has anything like this ever happened you?
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