‘SELF LOVE’ – DO YOU FEEL IT?
This is a topic many people choose to avoid.
The word ‘LOVE’ used to make me want to run and hide, so I get it !
A few months ago, I GIFTED a 7-day program to over 200 people. The ‘SELF LOVE’ part of the program was extremely CONFRONTING for a lot of them. Day 5 of the program, I should have named it ‘shut down’ day, because that’s what happened – more than 50% of participants ‘shut down’. They just couldn’t do the tasks, they hid, they were scared, they ‘shut down’ to protect themselves because that’s what we do – right ?
This was not the reaction to day 5 that I expected…. however, I felt their pain, I felt their resistance, I sensed the hurt because, the truth be known, I had been one of them. Yes, I understood exactly what they were going through, I knew with every breathe the turmoil that was going on within them – but it still left me shocked at the amount of people that needed help with this topic.
So….,
What can I do?
What have I learned from this?
How can I help?
Growing up was not an easy process for me because a huge chunk of my teenage and adult life saw me with Zero, yes ZERO ‘Self Love’. I had monumental moments where I would start to feel really good about myself – then as quick as you like, something would happen that would make me come crashing back to where I started… I would regain the few kilo I had lost, sabotage my relationship, self-harm on the inside, beat myself up, I felt never good enough – I, yes, me…. I was the “Self Sabotage QUEEN”..
I would constantly say over and over, horrible things, beat myself up, declaring what I needed to change .…
‘You’re just not good enough, you’ll never be a leader’!
‘Who would want to love you….., seriously?! look at yourself’!
‘At least I’m only 5ft 4 – I can just hide no one is going to notice me’
‘You’re are so F***ING ugly, red hair and freckles didn’t you win the gene pool jackpot’?
‘Look at your body it’s horrible, fat and disgusting’
‘No wonder you got raped, bad stuff always happens to you’
‘You will never amount to anything so deal with it!’
‘This is your life it will never be any different’
Emotionally, bit by bit, I shut down. Physically, bit by bit, I shut down. I used sex as power, a weapon to get my own way…… I self-mediated, I abused my body with substance both legal and illegal. Alcohol was my best friend – it numbed my pain. Daily panic attacks were my ‘normal’. Anxiety was with me in each breathe. Sexually, I was numb, I just simply shut down my emotions.
Self abuse
Self doubt
Self harm
total self destruction… suicide !
My tears flow freely down my cheeks as I share this with you, not for who I was before my journey started, but for what I have learned and how far I have come. I hurt the little girl in me, my heart was hidden, my soul was lost, I was broken.
I have forgiven myself for the self-neglect, self-harm, my total self-abandonment of me.
I now stand before you STRONG, PASSIONATE, LOVING, INDEPENDENT, BEAUTIFUL, GROUNDED, SELF LOVING ME.
Everything I needed was always within me.
I manifested the man of my dreams – because I believed in me.
I created my life, and, I am so in love with it.
I now know how to push through the negative and mental resistance
I am completely in love with me!
Sure, I still have things to work on deep within me. But I won’t hesitate to do the work because I know without it I would still be living in the nightmare hell that was my life. My mind was a place of total self-hate, now I thank god, it is a place of SELF LOVE and acceptance!
So again….,
What can I do?
What did I learn from this?
How can I help?
I learnt that I was able to help those struggling with ‘Self Love’ to lose the binds of resistance, help them take a deep breath and let their emotion flow, encourage them to step into the light and not to hide. I can help anyone of you, or anyone you know, who is in need of some ‘Self Love’ guidance. How can I help? I have chosen to offer another FREE , yes, FREE ‘Self love’ challenge.
This is my gift to you, I know I am meant to give back.
I know you want to take this first step, so please click the link below and let’s take this challenge together, have a bit of fun, while you learn how to set yourself free and begin to love yourself.
I look forward to meeting you all!
Leisa
Xx
